Landing It

Recently John Grisham was on the television talking about writing.  He has that look of money, a perfect haircut and expensive suit, and he stated that he did not start a book until he knew exactly how it would end.  (I muttered something obscene under my breath.)  Mystery writers are always saying things like that.  I admit I admire a good mystery, and I enjoy the escape of reading them, but I rarely, even for a moment, believe they are going to teach me anything truly useful or insightful.  Maybe I haven’t read enough of them.  I tried to read one of his once, but it did nothing for me.  As one of my friends likes to say, “It takes all kinds.”

I’m talking about John Grisham because of that line about knowing the end.  The writers I know personally have an idea about the end, but not to a certainty.  Of course, I don’t know mystery writers.  The writers I have a read (and reread and studied) have endings that spring from the whole of the book, but they also seem to come as a surprise, like opening a big painted box and finding a planet suspended inside.

Thus I have begun to theorize about how the masters I love land their narratives, especially the long ones.  There’s the Brontes, Austen, Dickens, Proulx, Vonnegut, Goldman, Golding, Wolfe, Forster, and Wodehouse.  I will consider them because of the novel I just finished reading.

Yes, I did finish reading the novel, and now my butt is asleep.  Sigh.

I theorize it is ten times harder to end a novel well than to begin in well.  Part of this theory is based on my own experiences as a writer, how the inspirational flash comes over a person, and then it’s months (if not years) of hard slogging through story and craft to land the narrative.  Landings may sometimes be smooth, but they require a great deal more artistry than lift off.  Another part of this theory comes from the numbers of books I have read, and enjoyed, but then I come to the end and think, “bleck.”  It’s the weird flavor and grainy texture of sugar-free, fat-free ice cream.  The book can have stacks of beautiful description and fun or funny dialog.  The book can have winning and complicated characters, real and remarkable settings, but if the ending is forced or rushed or somehow false, it’s “bleck.”  I’m not re-reading that book, not for fun.  I might possibly do it for money.

So… where should I begin?  I think I would like to begin with Golding.  His master work begins and ends like poetry.  Tomorrow, the dark heart of man is revealed by little boys.

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Reading a Book

I don’t have much to say today because I’m in the midst of reading a book–an actual, physical novel with characters and settings and a plot.  I absolutely love reading books, but I’m surprised at how much effort it takes for me to read one.  This is partly because I have visitors right now.  My second brother and his wife are here, and I like to cook for family when they are around.  Plus, I have moved laundry to Friday during the summer.

I’m not going to talk about the particular book here, but I will talk a little about the reading experience before I get back to it.  I’ll save my review of the book for when I have it finished (hopefully sometime tomorrow).

Reading a book, a novel especially, has a secret world quality to it.  I open the pages, and suddenly I’m in another place with other people.  I have a group of ideas to consider that have nothing to do with the here and now, with politics or practicality.  It feels indulgent and luxurious.  I’m sure there are people out there who envy me the hours I will spend of these two days reading this book.  I don’t blame them.  Reading a book is delightful, a long sumptuous meal with good wine and a dessert if you’re really lucky.  It’s nothing like Youtube, which I enjoy, or television, which I enjoy, or pod casts, which I enjoy as well.  It’s more challenging than all those things, and if the book is well written it’s much more rewarding.

Here’s to reading a book.  May all those who desire to do so, find a good book to read this summer, under a fan, with a cool drink at hand.

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Mockingbird

For the second year in a row, a pair of mockingbirds have made their nest in the grapevine outside my washroom window.  I know.  I know.  You’re jealous.  But, before you really start to eat your heart out I need to review a few things.

Most people love mockingbirds because of a book and a movie, not because of mockingbirds.  Harper Lee’s classic To Kill a Mockingbird is a wholly remarkable book with truly memorable characters and some of the best writing any of us are likely to rest an eye on.  No one who has seen Gregory Peck can ever forget his delivery of “it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”  The sentiment is beautiful and weighty, having to do with our responsibility to render homage to the Creator and this beautiful creation that is a gift to us, a gift for which we ought to be thankful and reverent.  Yes, before I knew mockingbirds, I was as romantically devoted to them as anyone might be.  Now, I have known a few, and my feelings toward them have developed in a more practical and nuanced direction.  Mockingbirds are wild birds, and they extend past metaphorical reference, at least the ones that nest outside my window do.

Mockingbirds are truly remarkable singers.  They are the opera divas of the western bird world.  They have an extensive repertoire, and the legend in our family is one even managed to learn to sing like my Grandma McCollaum when she would call her youngest son to lunch, “KEEEEEN-eth!”  In reality, the male mockingbird only shows his vast singing talent when he’s trying to get laid.  And, buddy, he is inexhaustible, devoted, and loud until that happens.  Dawn brings booming songs one might guess were coming from a bird three times the size.

Once that goal is achieved, the vast set of songs stops.  Suddenly the mockingbird mama and papa know just three sounds.  There’s a “kirrrr-squk” that they say to one another.  There’s a warning “CHIP…CHIP” that sounds if they detect anything in the area that fails to please them, and there’s a go-to-hell, nails-on-chalkboard “SKREEEEEEEE” that they aim at ANY LIVING BEING.  When the chicks start to fledge, there is also a nagging “PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE” they cry to their parents that will wake any heavy sleeper in the area, but that’s later.  In the meantime anyone or thing that moves into the area they have defined as theirs gets dive-bombed  and harangued incessantly.  This includes my 88-year-old mother who is just trying to water her garden about twenty yards away from their nest.  When the family cat perches in her accustomed window to observe the world, papa bird turns into a feathered maniac who wants to peck her eyes out.  Understand, this is a strictly inside cat who has lived in the house for years and who has a right to her own habits and life, but is being bullied out of her favorite windows by a bad-ass little bird who chose to set up shop right outside said windows.  Talk all you want about instinct and survival, but I know this is more than that.  This parental pair is overbearing, territorial, presumptuous, hostile, and mean.  And, I’m very excited about their babies.

The truth is last year’s birds were a little less difficult to deal with, a little less parental, and their babies didn’t make it.  They fell out of the nest and being wild little birds, they didn’t survive.  I’m praying that these belligerent parents manage a successful brood.

Maybe these birds are a metaphor as well.  Maybe they are teaching me something.  If you love something, you have to battle to defend it.  If you want a thing to survive, you may need to get bitchy and aggressive to help it survive.  Maybe a mockingbird isn’t just a singer.  Maybe it’s a warrior as well.

Anyway,  here are some pictures:

Feather 1

Papa Bird says, “GO AWAY!”

Feather 2

Papa Bird says, “GO AWAY, I SAID!”

feather 3

Papa Bird says, “THIS IS MY HOME. GO TO HELL!”

Feather 4

Papa Bird says, “I CALL UPON ALL BIRD KIND TO ATTACK INTERLOPERS!”

feather victim

Cleo says, “I guess I’ll go sleep in a chair where he can’t see me.”

feather hostile

“That’s right.  I rule this land with an iron beak and an eye full of malice.”

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Neville

When I was in grad school, a long time ago, we spent a good deal of time discussing the various elements of stories.  That’s the fun part of grad school, that and reading and writing.  In the midst of all those discussions it became apparent that even by  the most loose definition of plot, there were a limited number.  The same things happen in stories, just as the same things happen in life.  The things that change are who and where.  An author’s creation of characters and settings is the story’s DNA.  They make the story unique.

One of my favorite messiah stories is the Harry Potter series.  The setting is a gas, and the fantasy is top notch escapism.  I particularly love Rowling’s Neville Longbottom.  Neville is essential to the plot, in the end, but more importantly, I think he is one of those characters (and writers of fiction will understand this) who just appeared in the narrative as naturally as dandelions appear in a lawn.   Of course Harry, Hermione, and Ron were all in from the start, even before she began crafting, but I have a feeling Neville came along and made himself a part of the full work by his stubborn usefulness and goofy guts.  Neville manages to put in his little part all along.  He’s there in part one to try and stop his friends from causing trouble–a most Hufflepuff act.  He is there until the last when he destroys the snake.  He is our unsuspected and undeniable hero when he yells at the snatchers, “Yeah?  You and whose army?”* He manages to be funny and ultra cool when he barely escapes death only to quip, “That went well.”  He gives the story a decidedly English flavor, a “keep calm and carry on” resolve in the face of death.

Yesterday an apartment building in London, Grenfell Tower, burned.  People were jumping from the upper floors to escape the flames.  At this time the death toll is 6 with 74 injured, but that number is expected to rise.  I have never been to England, but I have taught English Literature for years, and I love it.  Their stories have given me a way to love them as a people, and my heart breaks for them.  No one knows, at the point, the cause of the fire or what the repercussions will be, but my soul is with the English this morning.

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Battle-axe

On Sunday night, CBS aired the Tony awards.  Generally I don’t enjoy watching award shows.  They offer very little genuine entertainment.  The Tony awards offer slightly more because they show little snippets of the shows that are honored, which is fun and entertaining.  The acceptance speeches are usually pure dreck, all inside jokes and names of people no one knows.  I usually watch the snippets and skip the “thanks.”  That’s what I did most of the night Sunday, but when Bette Midler received her award, I stuck around to listen.

I’ve liked Bette Midler for a long time.  When I was in college she had a concert special on HBO that was raunchy and fun, totally entertaining.  She has a versatile and warm voice, and she has a wicked sense of humor and both were shown to advantage in the special.  Anyway, I figured Midler would stop the show, and I was NOT disappointed.

She is currently playing Dolly Levi in the revival of Hello, Dolly! I wasn’t surprised she won.  She is clearly popular just about everywhere she goes.  For those who didn’t catch the moment when she got her award, I’ll give you an idea of why it was special.  Since they use the show to promote Broadway and to make some advertising bucks, it’s loaded with commercials, and the people who win awards are given strict instructions to keep it their comments short and to get off the stage when they hear the music come up.  This is important rule-making for broadcasters because they have time limits they are supposed to uphold.  When Midler got her award, she was truly surprised because she didn’t have a clue what to say or who to thank, and she didn’t want to leave anyone out.  She didn’t want to insult anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings.  She started saying names, and kidding around because she’s a world-class improviser.  The music came up as expected, and she kept talking, not budging.  Finally she said, “Turn that crap off!”  and the crap stopped.  She brought the entire ceremony to a halt.  It was FAN-TAS-TIC!

She got more time than anyone else did to accept an award, and that is as it should be because Bette Midler is a battle-axe, and the very best kind of battle-axe a person can know.

If you were to look up battle-axe, you would read (in crazy Wiki-pedia) that it is an insult of an older and assertive woman and the entry mentions Carry A. Nation.  I suppose Nation is the example because she carried a hatchet, but she is not really a battle-axe.  She is a cray-eyed zealot.  That’s different.

The quintessential American battle-axe is Susan B. Anthony who fought all her life to for the right of women to vote, and actually cowed the poll watchers in her town into letting her vote.  She got arrested and fined.  She didn’t ever pay the fine.  Susan B. Anthony was a woman who had something to say.  Midler is, too.  A battle-axe says exactly what she means, and not because she’s silly.  She says it because she knows what’s best, and she’s thinking, “Look, I’m not going to be here forever, and you need to know this.”  Her actions spring not from entitlement or from selfishness.  They spring from hard won experience and expertise, and she can help if you will just shut-up and let her help.  Every organization needs a battle-axe, and it helps if she is a good one.

There’s another word that’s similar from the world of archetypes–crone.  These terms would not be insults if our culture had the right attitude about age.  White hair should be considered a mark of wisdom and earned respect.  (I write this though I have my white hairs carefully dyed about once a month.)  A battle-axe can hurt you if you cross the wrong line, but she will always try and make things fair, worthwhile, beautiful, and true.  I consider myself a battle-axe in training.  Just a few more years, and watch it!

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You’ll See, Finally!

I have been promising to post a video essay about Roswell for a few days now, and here it comes.  It’s actually a scavenger hunt.  It involves fifteen public and easy to find locations here in Roswell.  It has only one reference to aliens.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love the alien thing about this town.  I have written about this before, so I will not go into it here.

The thing is, it can be really easy to drive right past perfectly beautiful places and moments in this town and not realize you’re doing it.  The challenge every creative person faces is subject, but you are the subject.  Your life is the source, and if you live in Roswell, then this is the beginning of your inspiration.  A couple of years ago I did a project which involved taking a picture of sunset every day.  It was an important thing to require me to see time, to witness it.  Along with a great deal of understanding about evening light, I grew to love all sorts of places here in Roswell, including those that might not have occurred to me as inspiring.

I did not try to make the challenge really hard.  First, I took pictures of public spots that were really easy to reach.  All but one of these images could have been see out a car window, and only one of these images poses a real challenge in identification.  Anyone interested in entering may either post their list identifying the locations at Choosing Ebenezer in the comments section, or bring the list to the keynote presentation of A Bookish Affair on 24 June at 2:00 pm in the Bondurant Room of the Roswell Public Library.  If more than one person solves it, we will draw for who wins the prize.

Good luck, and I’ll see you soon!

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“Disgusting Beautiful Garbage Angel”

I haven’t quite finished my photo essay of Roswell, but it’s coming along.  In order to pass the time until I get the pictures developed, I’ve decided to make an “as promised” entry.  It turns out, I’m Tina Belcher.

So…all the silly human beings of my generation have favorite shows on television.  I am no exception to this reality.  My favorite television show is Bob’s Burgers.  It is not my only favorite show.  I have a good healthy set of favorite shows, but the one I know particularly well is the cartoon show on Fox about a family that runs a burger restaurant.  It’s not just because I love burgers and because my favorite restaurant in Roswell is Big D’s which is the local version of the same experience.  It’s because it is hilarious and I’m basically the grown-up version of the first daughter Tina.

In truth I wish I were the grown-up version of the youngest child, evil genius Louise.  I adore Louise.  She gets things done.  She is the kind of person who will be a millionaire by the time she is my age.  Tina will not be a millionaire, because Tina has this super honest and loving nature.  She always wants to do the right thing, the wise thing.  If she were in Hogwart’s, she would be Hufflepuff.  She is bad at running.  She is boy crazy.  The only thing we don’t have in common is she is fascinated with zombies. I have never had much interest in zombies, but I certainly had (and still have) a great deal of interest in the opposite sex.  I even had the goofy outfit and haircut and the barrette.

There is one other thing that Tina and I don’t have in common.  Tina had to take remedial math.

I think we humans like to pick favorite shows and align ourselves with the characters because it fulfills some need for fantasy we all have.  Our dreams shape our day-to-day.  Louise has a crush on a boy named Boo-Boo, but she doesn’t understand her attraction so she refers to him as a disgusting beautiful garbage angel.  Gene (the boy of the kids) wants to be a musician and composer, but he says scales and practice are gross.  Tina wants to ride horses, but horses in reality aren’t anything like her imaginary horse Jericho.  Bob is a burger artist, but he can’t make the leap to genuine success, and Linda wants to be a crazy sex freak, but she’s a wife and mom who really has more talent as a wife and mom than a crazy sex freak.  Their failures are just so funny and beautiful.  They teach me to laugh at myself by letting me laugh at them.

I will not suggest seeing the show to my readers.  It’s my show.  Hands off.  Watch something else.  30 Rock is good, as is Parks and Recreation.  For serious folks there’s The WireDeadliest Catch has a wonderful energy.  This Old House never fails to entertain.  The Great British Baking Show makes me happy.  For political satire, it begins and ends with Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.   If you can’t resist Bob’s Burgers try and start from the beginning, that way you’ll have a chance to fall for the Tina-risma.

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By the Eye

In anticipation of A Bookish Affair, I’ve been planning a photographic essay about good old Roswell, America.  By photographic essay, I mean I have set of images that I’m going to try and get of this town that show it off and ask those who live in it if they have REALLY seen it.  People are probably now required to be more visually astute than ever before, but I’m not sure if we are always using our eyes to our advantage.

As a reader from my early childhood, I’ve never been great with my eyes.  My nose and eyes were always buried in a book. Neither my mother nor my father needed glasses in youth, but all four of their children have–all of us.  I’m the lucky one that is MOST myopic.  Yep, I’m the only girl; I got the fat gene; I’ve worn glasses since I was nine, so everyone wants to be me.

Though not one to pose for pictures, I’ve always liked the art of photography.  My dad used to make the family bathroom into a dark room.  My oldest brother had a job in college working with the photography team that took pictures of weapons tests.  He was pretty good with a camera.  My second brother won the Best-in-Show ribbon at the Guadalupe County Fair with a landscape shot of Mirror Lake in the Grand Tetons, so he’s no slouch either.  One of the best friends is a professional photographer.  Lastly, I’m now sponsoring the NMMI yearbook, which means I’ve had to learn enough photography to teach students how to use it in publishing.  I’m an enthusiast, a fan.

By careful observation anyone can see Roswell is beautiful, and I like this town.  It’s not just beautiful.  It’s lovable.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not blind the the problems.  Who could be?  But I’m also fully able to see the way this place shines.  I’ll offer two examples of what I mean here.  First, I like the way things just fall together.

roswell yucca

Second, I love the dramatic sky.  Hardly a day goes by when the sky isn’t doing something amazing.  Not everyone has this kind of sky.

roswell sky

I took both these pictures no more than thirty feet from my back door.  Look at them! This place is gorgeous.  So…I’m going out tomorrow and finishing my tribute to Roswell.  Hold on to your panty hose!

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Anniversary

So…I’m behind on posts because yesterday, 6 June, was my parents’ anniversary.  I had intended to post in the evening, but I’m clearly not capable of posting anything after one glass–ONE GLASS–of red wine.  After one glass I have nothing left in me but a surfeit of sleep.

Anyway, my parents’ anniversary has been my responsibility for years now.  My dad died in 1982, and since that time, I always give my mom special attention on their anniversary date.  In fact, I know about D-Day partly because of my dad’s old joke that he had two different D-Days.  It was a pretty bad joke since he did not make the D-Day landing, and since their wedding was not exactly a D-Day.  I guess the date was what gave him a perfect record as far as remembering their anniversary.  He NEVER missed making a fuss of it, and perhaps that is why.  He did have a number of friends and family who were part of D-Day, and he was always aware of the important dates of history.

I have a brother who teaches history.  I wonder what his thoughts might be about D-Day and the current state of the world.  I bet it would be more amusing than mine.

I will say one thing about history.  I have a favorite historical image concerning courage.  It’s from the WWII era, and I just love it.  I’ll include a copy of it here:

spirit of Britian

This little boy was in London during the blitz, and a Nazi bomb trapped his little sister under some rubble, and he pulled her out.  Look at that tough little face.  I hope that I am that kind of tough.  The modest face and crossed arms fill me with admiration and love.  I suppose that same attitude is what I love about John Oliver.

I also love that John Oliver is funny.  I would love to be funny this morning.  I will try to figure out something funny to write today.  I feel a little like Mary Wordsworth who kept a journal all her life while her brother William became Poet Laureate of England.  Then again, she had entries like “William gathered sticks today.”  So…yeah.

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Aside

(Two posts today.  Dentist today.  Exterminator today.  This is my vacation.)

It’s D-Day, June 6.  I’ve heard a great deal of fat-headed talk about D-Day lately, people making snide remarks about young people and they don’t know about this day or what it means.  How are they supposed to know what this day is if people who do know a little  history have trouble putting it in perspective? Here’s mine.

The Canaanites had a god called Molech, to whom they sacrificed their little children in fire.  It was brutal, barbaric.  D-Day is when Molech came to Europe.

Of course, that’s not how historians put it.  On D-Day the allied forces landed on the beaches of Normandy in order to drive out the invading Germans who were entrenched in machine gun nests along the beach in France.  American warriors landed and were cut to pieces, and yet they kept coming–into machine gun fire.  Why were the Germans in France?  They had given their hearts, minds, bodies, and considerable energies to a maniac who told them terrible lies and encouraged them to become the hosts to one of the worst orgies of blood and hatred the world has ever known.

I truly believe that the allies won because the German Third Reich was too evil to sustain itself, and God said, “Enough.”  The charge for we humans allowing this maniac loose upon the earth was the youth and beauty of the world.  The men who did NOT die on that beach, who lived and carried on, and came home, were brave in ways very few men are asked to be today.  What a terrible cost they paid because (let’s face it) even those who lived carried terrible internal wounds.  Those who lived were never the same, never so happy nor so hopeful nor so whole as they were before they became a part of that shattering war in the name of God and country.

My father was in the Pacific at the time.  I’ll tell more about that later.  I’m convinced that war cost my father twenty years of his life, maybe more.  It had to be fought.  The people of earth arrayed themselves and poured blood in great rivers.  I think that is the fruit of original sin.  Molech is still marching over the earth, gobbling up people in his terrible fires.

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